Sometimes I do something so unbelievable, I scratch my head and ask myself, “Did that really just happen?” Actually, those moments occur more than just sometimes. They seem to transpire more and more often, lately. Each time, I think I’ve accomplished the ultimate unbelievable event, and I’ll never top it. But then, a few days […]
Archive | Funny Coffee Girl
Letr frum Moses
Deer Santuh, Mi mom sed I’ve bin notty, and that she wuz gunna tell u all bout it. But I’d like a chans to tel mi sid of the storee. Its not ez havin four legs when everone els in the familee haz too legs. On top of that, I don’t spek English as wel […]
Because He Loves Me
Last week I flooded my bathroom when I left the bath water running and forgot about it. Or at least, that’s what Superman says. I’ve decided to refer to the incident as “the day I cleaned the floors really well.” When I realized what I’d done, I had that moment of “Oh molasses, Superman’s gonna […]
The Best Blessing
Remember when Thanksgiving meant getting two days off from school, getting to spend the whole day eating pie on the front porch at Memaw’s house and playing tag with your cousins? Remember when it meant too many relatives crowding into a too-small living room to say the prayer, and wondering who was going to volunteer […]
Flooded
I’ve decided to change my name to Calamity Jane. Or get a tattoo that says, “Walking Disaster.” Or both. Just this morning, I bemoaned the fact that nothing exciting has happened to me lately. Which is nice in real-world time, but in writer-world, that translates to “I don’t have anything interesting to write about.” Which […]
Epic Fail
Things aren’t going well for me this week. Twice already, I’ve undertaken projects that have turned into epic failures. Now I’m afraid to do anything, because I don’t know if it will be a third-time’s-a-charm thing, or a three-strikes-and-you’re-out thing. The first project I tried was my fingernails. Don’t laugh, and don’t judge. I’m trying […]
Dinosaur Bones
This morning, a shipment of T-Rex babies arrived at my house. Fifteen of them. They are tiny and precious and . . . well, they poop a lot. Yes they do. I guess I should feed them less. Right now they live in a box in my kitchen, under a heat lamp. In a couple […]
Untamed Land
My love for country living has hit a major bump in the road. Or more appropriately phrased, an enormous snake in the grass. Yeah. It all started when Superman turned to me and said, “Would you like to go for a stroll? It’s a beautiful night.” He is, after all, Superman, and how in the world […]
Country Roads
A year ago, I met a dreamy country boy named Rick. He’s rugged and manly. He builds houses and does landscape designs for yards. He knows how to fix stuff. He plays the piano, sings like an angel, and writes his own music. Oh, and he’s also a teacher. I think he’s a descendant of […]
The Hard Way
As some of you know, I’ve recently developed a fascination with waterfalls. And hiking. And not getting killed while hiking to pursue a waterfall. On my trip to Colorado, I almost died falling off a mountain, trying to find Mystic Falls. Okay, so maybe I didn’t almost die, but I could have. I climbed a […]
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