Letr frum Moses

Deer Santuh,

Mi mom sed I’ve bin notty, and that she wuz gunna tell u all bout it. But I’d like a chans to tel mi sid of the storee. Its not ez havin four legs when everone els in the familee haz too legs. On top of that, I don’t spek English as wel as thay do. It maks fer sum perty bad misunderstandingz at timz.


Ferst Id lik too say that I luv mi mom. I wont to mak her hapee. I no she luvs thos perty flowrz in the yard, and I wanted her to no I lik them too. So I at them. Thay tasted good, and I smiled, cuz then I new why she likes thim so much. But she got veree, veree mad and sent me to my howse without a treet.

I wonted to mak it up to her, so I deesided to bring her a presint. She luvs thoz dum chikenz so much. Ever day, she goz out to their howse and feds thim and talks to thim. I thot it would be ezier if I brot them to her, so I found my way into ther howse and grabed the slowest one. Mi bruther saw me and took it away. I didn’t bit hard, but the wimpee thang died. Now I’m a murdererer. But I didn’t meen to be. Honest.

Thats whin I deesided to run away frum home. I didn’t go veree far, but I got all muddy. It wuz grate. Mom and Dad must luv me, cuz next thing I no, thay are calling my name. I ran to thim, and I thot thay were happee to c me. But then they punished me by giving me a bath. There is no justiz in my werld.

This morning, Mom left her koffee kup on the sid tabel. I thot she was finnished, so I drank the rest of it. I only wanted to help kleen the kup, so she woodn’t half too. I got sint to my howse fer that, to.

Santa, pleez tell my mom I luv her and don’t meen to be notty. Pleez tell her that I dezerv treetz fer all those things I do. And pleez tell her that even whin I mess up, nothin, and I meen nothin, is so bad that I dezerv a bath. That’s just kruel and unusual punishmint.

And just in kase this letter haz swaid yer opinion of me, I lik bacon flaverd treetz and any toy that skweeks.

Sinseerely yers,


“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,” Psalm 103:8.


One Response to Letr frum Moses

  1. December 17, 2015 #

    VA:F [1.9.20_1166](from 0 votes)I don’t care either and I don’t rllaey understand why this is supposedly such a big problem now. A few decades ago models were in a whole different class. Genetic freaks (I don’t mean that in a bad way) who had perfectly proportioned Amazonian bodies and absolutely incredible facial symetry. That Body Shop slogan about only a few dozen women in the world looking like supermodels was true. Add some good lighting and images of those women were as unrealistic for an average woman as photoshopped images.Today there are models that are thin but not at all conventionally attractive, models who aren’t well proportioned but have gorgeous faces, models with bad skin or hair or teeth, female models who look like guys, male models who look like girls, celebrity models who have unflattering candid shots plastered everywhere. Photo-shopping has made modelling much more inclusive.

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