I am under self-quarantine. Not because of COVID-19, but because I’m a hermit. Like introverts around the world, I’ve prepared my entire life for such a time as this. I’m currently under quarantine with my husband – an introvert, my daughter – also an introvert, and my son – the most extroverted extrovert I’ve ever met in my life. And I’ve met a lot of people.
Last Saturday’s conversation at our house went like this:
Son: Mom, I’m going to Mike’s house.
Me: They don’t want you there. You might contaminate them.
Son: I’m fine. See you later.
Two hours later – Son: Mom, I’m home! Going to Ray’s now.
Me: No you’re not. Stay home.
Son: (Laughing.) Mom! It’s fine. I’m not gonna die of Corona Virus.
Me: You could be a carrier, and all your friends could die. All your friends’ parents’ could die. And then you’ll come home and give it to me, and I’ll die.
Son: I love you, Mom. See ‘ya later.
Two hours after that – Son (on phone): I’m at Z’s. I’m spending the night.
Me (texting Z’s mom): I’m so sorry. You can send him home.
Z’s mom: It’s fine.
Sigh. I really did try to raise him right. But such is life with a child who is addicted to people. I wonder if there’s a 12-step program for extreme extroverts. If you know of one, please contact me, asap.
For all the other extroverts out there who are losing your minds and don’t know how to fill your time in isolation, here are some suggestions for you:
Top Ten Things to Do Under Self-Quarantine
- Clean out your sock drawer. Save any rogues to use in case you run out of toilet paper. (Credit to Jennifer, via my Facebook page.)
- Bathe and groom your dog.
- Clean out your dishtowel drawer. (See number one.)
- Check out the list of free Kindle books, and read one. Or seven.
- Save all your junk mail. Use it to play a game of trashcan basketball.
- Clean your ceiling fans. Place a pillowcase over each blade, and wipe. All the dust will stay inside the pillowcase.
- If you don’t already have Snap Chat, get it now! Take endless pictures of yourself with cat ears and multi-colored hair. Send every last picture to your kids. Or your boss, if you dare.
- Write and illustrate your own children’s book. Upload it to Kindle Direct Publishing. Then share the link to your social media and have an online book launch party.
- Write a poem or song about your life in quarantine, and share it to all your social media accounts.
- Make a list of seven friends you’ve lost touch with, and call them!
The secret is out. You extroverts only thought you were having all the fun. Now you know the truth – we introverts don’t need big, crowded parties. We are the party. And you’re invited . . . as long as you stay home.
And while you’re there, don’t forget to wash your hands.
“Wash your hands, you sinners,” James 4:8.
****Note: My son is now at home, tied to his bed with duct tape. Or at least, I’ve threatened him with duct tape if he doesn’t stay put. I think he’s resigned to the idea that for the next few weeks, I’m his social life. Prayers for both of us much appreciated.