Feels Like Forsaken

This is not my usual tone and style, but someone close to me encouraged me to share. I’ve gone through a really hard few weeks, and I recently wrote this poem to God. It’s honest. It’s raw.

God is big enough to take our questions, our hurt, even our anger. What He DOESN’T want is our silence. If you’re going through a difficult time, if you question God’s love for you, TELL HIM. Talk to Him. If you struggle with anxiety and depression, you’re not alone. It happens to the best of us. And even when it feels like God’s forsaken you, He hasn’t. He’s there, working behind the scenes, to bring you through the storm.

When Satan’s voice shouts, listen for God’s whisper. He’s right there, and His love for you is never-ending. I promise.

–Renae

Feels Like Forsaken

by Renae Brumbaugh Green

May 13, 2021

You said You’d never leave me,

You’d never walk away

I’d never be forgotten

That You would always stay

You said You’d go before me

You said that You would send

A comforter, a teacher,

A closer-than-brother friend.

What happened to those words, my Lord?

Right now, I feel alone.

At this moment, pain is deep

I long for death to come.

In this moment, I don’t feel You

You seem so far away

Right now I feel forgotten

Useless and betrayed

Right now it hurts to take in air

Each heartbeat like a knife

Each moment an eternity

Of never-ending strife

Lord, You’ll always have my love

My heart is Yours to see.

But if it’s honest prayers you want…

This feels like forsaken to me.

I don’t know what You’re doing.

I don’t like it at all.

I cannot understand how you would

Let my spirit fall.

You said that You are love defined

You promised You are good.

So to those promises I cling,

If only by a thread.

Abba, Father, Daddy,

You’re the only One who can

Bless me with those good things

That come only from Your hand

I don’t deserve Your goodness

I’m sinful to the core

But Father, in Your Son I trust

And You have called me Yours

So Abba, please remember me

Don’t turn Your face away

Show me I belong to You

Smile at me today

The things I want so deeply

Are things that You want, too

For my family to love me

For my children to love You

To have a job where I can shine

Your light in a dark place

To walk each day so close to You

That I can see Your face

Father, don’t You hear my cries?

Have You turned Your face away?

I stand upon Your promises

And Your unending grace.

Father, I am weak and sad

I’m begging You to see

Prove me wrong, my Lord, my God

This feels like forsaken to me.

“Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31:6-8