New Year’s Resolutions

This year, I have decided not to make any New Year’s Resolutions. I’m going to make brownies instead. After all, studies have shown that only about 12% of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals. Eighty-eight percent of us fail. So, with those statistics, why bother?

I’ve tried the whole New-Year’s-Resolution-starve-and-exercise-yourself-half-to-death-in-January thing. It doesn’t ever work for me. I always wind up, well, starved and exhausted. In the end, I break down and eat a whole pan of brownies. So why not cut out the middle man? I’ll just make the brownies right up front, and we’ll call it even.

Of course, there are some things we can do to increase our chances of meeting our goals. It’s been found that men succeed more often when they set small, specific, achievable goals. For example, “I’m going to lose two pounds this month” is a better goal than “I’m going to lose this big belly by the end of the year.” And women are more likely to succeed when they share their goals with a friend, and ask for help.

But even then, only twelve percent of us succeed. Thus, my pan of brownies. Then again, I suppose I could strategically form my list of goals, hoping I’ll fail. After all, if most of us fail to keep our resolutions, why not make the list with failure in mind? Yes, that’s what I’m going to do.

In 2010, I plan to:

1. Gain weight.

2. Exercise less.

3. Spend less time with family and friends.

4. Go deeper into debt.

5. Stress out over everything.

6. Relax less.

7. Become less organized.

If I fail to meet these goals, then by the end of the year I’ll be skinnier, healthier, happier, and more relaxed. The way I see it, I statistically have a much greater chance of failure than of success. Here’s hoping I fail.

Even though I may fail at my own plans, I know that God has great plans for my life. And more than anything, He wants to see me succeed. His plans for me are often different from my own agenda. But even though His goals for me might be different than the goals I have for myself, I know His goals are better. You see, God doesn’t really care if I have a lot of money. He wants me to be wealthy in spirit. He doesn’t really care what I look like in a swimsuit, but He does care what my soul looks like under pressure.

Yes, His plans are always good ones. He wants me to have peace. Integrity. A kind and loving spirit. He is my biggest cheerleader, and He’s already given me everything I need to succeed. He’s made the plan clear to me in His Word, and as long as I stick with that plan, I’ll achieve every good thing that He wants for my life. Success is guaranteed.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.