Archive | Funny Coffee Girl

Mama Says

not so red lipstick

My mama is a true southern lady. She knows the difference between “a little ways,” and “down the road a piece.” She knows that you can face any crisis as long as your hair looks good. And if you go to her house, she’ll offer you a coke. But it might not be a product […]

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Perplexed

Somethings Definently Missing

I am the smartest person in my family. Oh, if you ask my husband and my dear children, they probably won’t admit it, so please don’t ask them. They are embarrassed, and who can blame them? It’s not their fault, not really. But I know that I’m the smartest person in my family, and they […]

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I wonder . . .

Solar eclipse  2

about the morning when death was conquered by our Lord. I mean, God, I know how things were on that Friday when He died. Or at least I’ve heard. The sun hid its face. All was black, right in the middle of the day. The earth shook. Creation mourned, that day that Your own Son […]

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Dead Man Waking

coffee break

My son sleeps like a rock. Seriously, when that boy is asleep, we can pretty much do whatever we want, because he’s not waking up! He is dead to the world. Sometimes in the mornings, when he finally arises, we joke, “He’s alive! He’s alive!” But one morning last week, he wasn’t the only one […]

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Goin’ Fishing

Who says girls don

My husband, Mark, is an expert fisherman. Somewhere in the depths of our messy garage, there is a neatly organized tackle box. This box contains a wide variety of plastic worms, lures, spinners, and all manner of shiny, glittery things that fish like. Some of them even have an odor! Mark knows exactly which bait […]

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Puppy Dog Tale

Puppy Dog Tale

My dog has a pink tail. Not just a little bit pink, but pink-pink. Cotton candy pink. Baby girl pink. Now, I wish I had someone to blame for this freakish (albeit cute) conundrum, but I don’t. I am the reason Annie has a pink tail. Believe it or not, I actually paid someone to […]

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New Year’s Resolutions

Brownies Three

This year, I have decided not to make any New Year’s Resolutions. I’m going to make brownies instead. After all, studies have shown that only about 12% of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals. Eighty-eight percent of us fail. So, with those statistics, why bother? I’ve tried the whole New-Year’s-Resolution-starve-and-exercise-yourself-half-to-death-in-January thing. It doesn’t ever […]

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The Nightmare After Christmas

AA batteries

Christmas morning, for me, was blissful. Everything was perfect, or as close to perfect as Christmas morning can be at our house. The stockings were filled, there was a roaring fire in the fireplace, carols played on the cd player. Everyone took their time opening gifts, letting out appropriate “oohs” and “aaaahs” and exclaiming how […]

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The Perfect Christmas

Creche

On my hearth, there is a mis-matched nativity scene. It includes four wise men of various sizes, two shepherds, two Marys, one baby Jesus, a Renaissance girl carrying a turkey and a basket of grapes (where did she come from?), a horse, a cow, and a sheep. There is no Joseph. I’ve decided he must […]

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Flipped-Out Phone

mobile phone 1

I am so ashamed of myself. And just a little bit proud, too. After living more than four decades without wanting or needing a pocket phone/computer/stereo/gameboard/calendar/encyclopedia/notepad/etc., I have given in to peer pressure. I got an i-phone. A pink one. I was fine without one, until my friend Robin showed me hers. It was way […]

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